Digging Up a Dark Past

Taylor(WDAU) - Archaeologists from the University of Taylor have unearthed 30 year old remains of partially mutilated beer cans on the grounds of Pine Hills golf course. This disturbing discovery brings to mind results of an experiment gone bad several decades ago by the Genesee Corporation when an experimental chemical was developed to rid the country of waste beer cans. The chemical was intended for commercial spray operations and would dissolve thin aluminum on contact. The program was halted when it was found to cause mutilation and was never thought to extend outside the laboratory environment until now. A spokesman for the University at the golf course diggings commented, “This will be a horrific tragedy if it is determined that there is in fact, Genny-cide in the par four region.”